Wednesday, November 26, 2014

A Quiet Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday. No commercialism… well…except for the Black Friday sales that now start on Thursday. Whatever. I've never had any desire to sacrifice my precious sleeping hours to go out and risk my life shopping.

Thanksgiving is all about food. And comfort food at that. It's that wonderful day of the year that you get to pig out and make no excuses. In fact, it's expected of you to overindulge in mashed potatoes and stuffing, pecan pie. Never been much of a pumpkin pie fan, but good for all of you who are.

Thanksgiving is also about being together with family. I consider myself very fortunate that everyone in my family gets along. Or at least they appear to get along. I know that no cops will be called to settle a domestic dispute over the proper stuffing recipe. The only raised voices will be those inspired by an excess of wine. All in good fun. No offense meant.

This year, our family is getting together on Saturday. Same turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, wild rice. It's just that we'll be giving thanks on Saturday and not Thursday. It's cool. No big deal.

But here's the thing: it's still Thanksgiving day Thursday. It's still the holiday. The Macy's parade, the dog show, the football. All Thursday. So why am I looking forward to it with such relish? I'm going to spend the day with my beautiful puggle girl, Ridley. We're going to watch the Bears (not the highlight, but still), maybe the dog show. Gonna build a fire in the fireplace, pig out on some yummy food.

It's going to be a deliciously quiet day. And I can't wait!

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

My child is a puggle

I'm just going to say it. I know I risk the wrath of parents everywhere and even as I write this I'm looking skyward for potential lightning strikes.

I would rather have a dog than a baby.

There. OK. Let me have it.

The holidays are approaching and I'll be getting together with family. That means traveling. I bring my dog with me wherever I go. I hate having to board her. She is my child. She should be with me. Plus she was born on Christmas Eve. I'm not going to have her locked up in a little kennel on her birthday!

Now some of my family members don't appreciate having a joyous little bundle of love and affection running around their homes. I get that. I guess. But the mere fact that I have to ask galls me. And that they say "no, don't bring her" really gets my ire up.

I know what you're thinking- that it's not an unreasonable request-asking me to leave my little girl at home.

But here's the thing: I've never wanted to have children. I told my mother that when I was a young girl and she was appropriately aghast. I've never made a secret of my unnatural tendencies. It's not that I have anything against children. I just don't have that ability to instantly dissolve into a cooing mess at the mere sight of a baby.

I have 5 nephews and 2 nieces and I love them all.

It's just that...well...Let's just say that I don't particularly like the screaming, crying, drooling, puking. I don't like the smell of poopy diapers, the look of snot running out of noses. And I really don't like that every time I'd get together with all of them, I'd leave with 1or 2 viruses.

By virtue of their cute holiness, babies are automatically accepted everywhere. To suggest that perhaps they shouldn't be in church or at the movies or on an airplane, is to take your life into your own hands. I subscribe to the European practice of leaving the baby at home and taking the dog to the restaurant with you for dinner. Dogs are certainly cleaner than babies.

I'm just saying: No one ever asked me if it was OK to bring their baby around and I never said a word.

Is it too much to ask that I bring my precious little girl with me?